A New York City cop fires his gun, on average, once every 60 years (according to John's Bathroom Reader), which, in my opinion, is a pretty good source..
A New York City cop fires his gun, on average, once every 60 years (according to John's Bathroom Reader), which, in my opinion, is a pretty good source..
List
The police finding out that the man they beat a confession out of was actually innocent.
The James Bond-type secret agent unable to find a parking space in front of the building he needs to enter quickly.
An ugly female Russian spy extorts secret documents from an intelligence worker by threatening to socialize with his family and tell them she is his girlfriend..
Heroic lawyers, having extracted millions of dollars from the evil, unfeeling, amoral, polluting or negligent corporation, seize almost all of the money as their "fee" before the attractive widow/mother/victim sees a penny. I'd like to see the family when they realize that they don't even get to handle the money. In real life, the lawyers for the evil corporation never give you the money, from which you pay your own lawyers-- they hand the money over to your lawyers who take whatever they want before passing on a few pennies-- if anything-- to their clients.
News commentary telling you that the Monica Lewinsky type story just isn't important enough to justify 16 hours a day of live coverage.
Any news analysis whatsoever, other than PBS.
Any of the six people stranded in the middle of the ocean on an open lifeboat having to go to the bathroom.
Anyone on Star Trek or any of the sequels actually having to go to the bathroom.
A poor schmuck finds a million dollars in a suitcase hidden somewhere. He keeps it and lives happily ever after. He goes to the bathroom occasionally.
An unhappy middle-aged overweight woman "recovers" memories of a happy experience.
A police officer or private investigator or FBI agent arrives at the house where a deadly, well-armed, violent killer is hiding. He or she calls for help on the radio or cell phone and then waits quietly outside until it arrives. Exactly as all law enforcement officers are trained and instructed to do.
A police detective finds out that his daughter is tied up in a building next to a bomb that will go off in fifteen minutes. He considers running to the elevator, going down to the parking garage, getting into his car, racing through the parking lot, paying the parking fee or just running the gate, fighting through downtown traffic to get to the freeway, risking delay by an accident or congestion or construction, looking for the building, possibly getting the wrong address, then trying to locate his daughter among any of hundreds of rooms.... He realizes this would be pretty stupid, and calls police dispatch for them to send the nearest police cruiser to the scene instead. Then he finds out that his daughter is actually at home and he isn't related to the kidnapped girl at all.
a character in a spaceship's landing party played by a famous actor is killed off in the first few minutes.
The police try to arrest a suspected drug dealer. They pump him full of lead only to find out that he isn't the person they were looking for and isn't even armed. All of the officers involved agree to tell investigators that the victim appeared to have a gun in his hand and refused to drop it even though they kept telling him to. They pull out of a glove compartment in a cruiser what New Orleans police refer to as a "ham sandwich", a knife or un-registered gun they can claim the victim was holding.
A young beautiful woman gets a brain tumor. Only a brilliant, handsome, single surgeon at a hospital in some distant city can save her. Through sheer determination and an indomitable spirit, she succeeds in finding out that her insurance won't cover the surgery and she doesn't have enough money to pay for the operation herself. The handsome surgeon politely informs her family that he doesn't work for nothing. She dies.
the asshole arrogant doctor who annoys everybody finds out, in the end, that nobody really cares what happens to him.
A hard-working woman at a big corporation is propositioned by her boss. After she refuses, he still thinks she is the most competent worker in the office and offers her a promotion and a raise. She accepts.
Then she informs the HR department that her boss propositioned her. He is fired and she gets his job.
A little girl in a down-on-their-luck family refuses to believe in Santa Claus. A friend of her divorced mother persuades a charming, down-on-his-luck older man to pose as Santa and bring gifts to the little girl. After singing her to sleep, he steals the tv set. The little girl at the end learns that you should never believe the adults around you because they will gladly lie to you to gratify their own immature sentimental beliefs.
The President of the United States is kidnapped by Mormon fanatics who demand that the Winter Olympics be held in Salt Lake City.
While he is being held, Congress meets in emergency session and impeaches him.