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How Could You Tell?
Stephen Kai Yiu Chung, 60, was arrested in Ancaster
yesterday. Chung has been practising medicine in Ancaster, Ontario for 15
years. I'll be you think he's a respected member of the community and that everyone
was shocked when he was arrested?
Well, not everyone. You see, the main problem is
that Mr. Chung is not a doctor. He was licensed by the ever-vigilant College of
Physicians until last month, but then they discovered that he actually had no medical
training, no medical degree, and no qualifications to practise medicine.
Well, I'm not one to be picky. And who knows, if I
ever lose my present job, I may want to go into medicine myself. Obviously, it can't
be as difficult as it looks. If Mr. Chung can get by for fifteen years without
raising any suspicions, I figure I could last for five at least, maybe ten.
So how did they finally catch up with the ingenious Mr.
Chung? Did someone finally notice him reattaching hands backwards? Did he
prescribe expensive drugs of dubious medicinal value? Did he ignore his patients
needs and see them only when it was convenient for himself? Did he recommend useless
surgeries to pad his OHIP billings? Did he ridicule and attack cheap, readily
available natural remedies? Did he recommend that his patients ignore the causes of
their illnesses and just pay him for treatment instead?
No. You see, none of those things would have
actually raised any suspicions about him actually being a doctor, just as any man who
tries to save you from being ripped off by a heartless corporation, and then impoverishes
you with his own absurdly excessive billing, is not necessarily a lawyer.
No, they caught Mr. Chung because some other guy in
London, Ontario, named Roark, embarrassed the heck out of the College of Physicians by
doing a little heart surgery on the side without having actually acquired any training to
do so. After this public humiliation, the College decided to get right on top of
things and try to find out exactly how many of our respected doctors are actually...
"qualified".
By the way, some woman has charged Mr. Chung with sexual
assault. This happened five years ago. It's nice to know that not only can you
practice medicine without any qualifications for fifteen years without being caught in
Ontario, but you can toss in a few assaults and forged documents while you're at it.
Nobody will notice.
© Copyright 1998 Bill Van Dyk |
September 3, 1998
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