The
Stupidest Rule in Pro Sports
Hockey would be a great sport if they could only do one thing. Well,
actually, there are a lot of things they could do, like get Wayne Gretzky to fight Tie
Domi. But one thing really, really bugs me: it's late in a close game, the
teams are battling back and forth, the tension is building, the goalie is getting ready to
skate to the bench, and then suddenly... it's time out.
Yes, those dorks who run the NHL decided that the right thing to do at the moment the
game is most exciting is call all the players over to the bench and just chat about things
for a bit, while two million fans (or, in the U.S., two million fans) sit in front of
their tv sets and grind their teeth.
This is the stupidest rule in pro-sports, or maybe the second stupidest, if you count
"field goals" in football, or football itself, which consists of large,
well-paid, mobile appliances running across a grass field and bumping into each other.
There is one thing they could do which might make the 30-second time-out a little
interesting. They could put one of those mini-cameras with a microphone on the coach and
let all of us in on the discussion. Better yet, we should be able to phone individual
players and make suggestions like, "Mats, you gonna try and get a goal, or
what?" or "Hey, Wayne, I hear that Tie Domi said some awfully crude things about
your mother last night".
And don't do it like baseball did during the World Series. They let us in on the
conversation, all right. It was apparent to everyone that the players and coaches were
told before-hand when they would be on the air. What's the fun in that? "Hey, Kenny,
you gonna try and steal a base or what."
I think they should have done it without warning anybody. Wire everyone on the field
and let the broadcasters choose who to broadcast at any given moment.