Pope in a Box

Some people, like the late Frank Sinatra, like to travel "heavy". They take lots of suitcases and equipment and ride around in expensive armoured limousines or private jets. That makes sense for these people, in a way. Frank Sinatra was a vane, pompous, self-important, Las Vegas entertainer. He used to make large sums of money singing to old, over-weight women in ugly pant suits, God bless 'em. If you had asked Frank what it was he relied on to see himself safely through another day, he would have pointed to Turk and Otto, his steroid-enhanced Austrian body guards.

The Pope never performs in Las Vegas, and hardly ever sings in public at all. If you asked him who he trusts to see himself safely through another day, he would answer "God". Furthermore, he likes to tell the 700 million Catholics around the world not to use birth control. "But we are poor," the people reply. "How can we afford to support large families?" Trust in God, says the pope.

Does the Pope follow his own advice? Not really. He has body guards too. And when he wants to be seen by the public, he travels around in a bullet-proof "Pope-mobile", just like Frankie used to. Doesn't the Pope think God will protect him from assassins? I guess not. That is too bad. One in six people on this planet are Roman Catholic. If there is anything our age needs, it is someone like Frank Sinatra or the Pope to come right out and say, "I don't need any body guards or bullet-proof limos... I trust in God to keep me safe."

September 12, 1998